Does anyone have any clues how to get a WAW introduced to this site without looking like I am desperate?
Keep the faith!! One Goal! Thanks CZ me: 34 XW: 29 D: 5 T: 13 M:9 Dday: Sep 18, 08 joint legal and physical custody of child XW recently told me, she d me, cause she tought I would abandoned her!
I've wondered over the past week whether to let her read my DR book, but not once thought about suggesting that she visit here. Someone on another thread said that the DR should be for us, not them so...I dunno about the site. WAW probably can find support among the other WAWs but by having access to your posts, will that limit any feelings of need to communicate?
Me 34 W 33 D 4 S 2 M 5 T 8 Bomb 6/17/08 Served 7/17/08 I hate Tuesdays! Current Thread
I agree, I don't want her to see my post. I meant the DB concept.
Keep the faith!! One Goal! Thanks CZ me: 34 XW: 29 D: 5 T: 13 M:9 Dday: Sep 18, 08 joint legal and physical custody of child XW recently told me, she d me, cause she tought I would abandoned her!
Having been on the boards for a few years now, I wouldn't personally mention the DB method - a lot of WAWs and WAHs would view this as highly pursuing and putting a lot of pressure on them. Keep the books and the BB as your safe haven for now as well as a good IC or MC on your side. At some point WAW may become curious - but you'll burn that bridge when you get to it...
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
Does anyone have any clues how to get a WAW introduced to this site without looking like I am desperate?
Nope! No clues, b/c it is not for her....it is strickly for you. It is your tools....not hers. As one man put it, if you were going to play a game of football, would you show your opponent your game plan? If she is a WAW, you can forget trying to get her to come on this board or to read any marriage saving books! Yes, it will be pressure to her, so back away and leave her alone. Detach and give her space, time and freedom. YOU read and apply DB and you may have a chance of getting her back home. That is the only way!
Signed, Sandi, an almost WAW
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Also, Showing this to a WAW will likely make them think that the changes you are making are not genuine.....definitely don't show your hand on this one.
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
As much as I would LOVE to have my H read, ANYTHING relationship wise, communication, etc., I advise against being that person to prompt it, hint it, etc. I agree with everyone else... too dangerous. Focus on yourself. It truly does make a difference.
Yeah, it's kind of like having your secret plan as to how you are going to get this M back on track....but she doesn't know about it. That is the beauty of it.
I have seen couples read the same M manual or go to couples classes and they would throw things about what the book of class said back in their faces when they had a fight. It is better for the W to read different books....if she wants to. If she is a WAW, then more than likely, she isn't going to be interested in reading any M help books or go to any couples classes or MC. That means it is up to you. So keep coming here to post and seek advice...but most of all, read the DR book.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
