Never, in our 14 years together have, I felt so loved by my W. My W has thanked me time and time again for sharing my copy of "The Five Love Languages" with her. Even though we are still living apart, we are able to fill each others "love tank" daily. We decided it was best not to move in together until we are both 100% committed to an everlasting M. I have always been 100% committed to our M, and I will know when the time has come for my W when she places my wedding ring back on my finger. My W still doesn't wear her ring, and that's fine with me. This shows me that she is still focusing more on herself rather than us.
I want and need my W to explore every avenue of her life before returning to our M. Part of the reason she left our M was due to the fact that she was unhappy and she felt incomplete as a person. I understand now that it wasn't so much me that was blocking her path to happiness and finding herself, but rather our M and the responsilities that go along with being a W. My W doesn't like to do things half-assed, so I feel as though she decided we'd both be better off as being best friends rather than H and W. My W has said in the past that I deserve someone better than her, and she was right. Us being friends has allowed that "someone better" to enter into my life.
Right now we are each working on our own personal issues as well as some of our R issues. Once we have our personal issues taken care of, we will than be able to focus more on our M. This was our plan right from the start. "Fix" ourselves first then see if if we could "fix" our M.
We are communicating like never before with open an honest feelings. We are re-discovering ourselves and each other, with little or no fear of what we find. No more mind reading and false perceptions of each other. We both are beginning to feel safe in voicing our opinions and expectations as well as asking each other questions without fear of hurt or anger. We are learning to trust each others love.
My W has been spending a lot of time with me at my apartment and stays the night 2 or 3 times a week. I don't get much free time to post to other threads, but I am keeping my eye on most of you.
- Mark
What goes around, comes around.
My sitch: "Third time's a charm?"
