Donna--finding herself Divorced #26

[hoosiermama]

I think you did an admirable job of talking with your son. Unfortunately, kids pop up with this stuff when we least expect it so we're not always prepared. He heard the truth, which he'd eventually discover on his own (and that would probably affect his trust of you). And you delivered it compassionately and in a way he could understand, without demonizing your H (which can be hard to do!) All those things are important. Also important is that you stressed that H made a CHOICE. That makes it his responsibility. Which is appropriate.

I think he needs to keep hearing that you're not going anywhere, that you're going to keep things normal and stable. Whatever that "new normal" ends up being--you'll find it--it's important that life is predictable, that the kids know what to expect since the rug's been yanked out from under their lives.

You take great joy in the small things--how wonderful is that?! A lot of moms would be bored to tears and complain about the "fly up" thing, altho they'd be there. But you were REALLY there, you enjoyed it along with your daughter. Same thing with cleaning out your room and going out for ice cream. Great for the kids' self-esteem and security; they see that there will still be joy in their lives even tho dad's not around.

You're a great mom, and a strong woman. Your kids will "rise up and praise you" when they're older!