Interesting concept...forgiving ourselves for forgiving...
I'm not sure this is an issue for me. I never had a hard and fast stance on cheating...never entertained the notion that it could happen at all!
For me, forgiveness in this instance isn't something I have felt as an overwhelming, final sort of thing.
It's coming in waves, in bits...I've posted this before, but for some reason it seems that I can forgive the human weakness in finding solace in another, in feeling that our M was essentially dead, feeling trapped and wanting to feel better.
What I have a harder time with is the LIES. Not just covering the A's, but the lies told to OW about our M, about ME (for example that I'D cheated on HIM! ).
Also tough for me is the cruel treatment CJ put me through during that time...making it out to be ALL my fault. Being made to feel like an unwitting MONSTER.
It's still something I struggle with. But I feel that someday this WILL all be behind us....and we all the wiser for it.
).
