Here is a thought I have. Don't overanalyze every little thing you do. In general, one individual action isn't going to make or break things. What you are after is a more general change. A change in the way you act, all of the time. It's made up of small individual steps, but it isn't the small individual steps on their own. It's the whole attitude, and way of life!
Thanks bud..
That change has happened on a grander scale than i thought.. i still get angry at bad drivers when i am alone, but am working on that, yoga tends to calm me down quite abit.
My GAL is in full swing,Going to W's cousin's shindig Friday night. Going hiking with my dogs and some friends Saturday ( i never do that).. Sunday Going sailing.. Monday... gym & gym... Tuesday is Canada Day.. going to a BBQ with some friends..
I will have to let W know some details... because of the dogs/cats..
In the meantime, i am keeping busy, getting into the best shape i have been in since my early 20's , and having a grand old time..
Work is going well..travelling/got promoted/getting raise..
My outlook is very positive, i think i just get moments of trying to overanalyze myself because that's the way i've always been. I know I should just BE...
it used to be : long weekend, oh i am going to go out with my buddies and drink a ton of beer and smoke 1,000 cigarettes.. now i am doing exact opposite.. in fact i limit myself to 2 beer max now (that way i can always drive home)..
Keep it up! Eventually she will react. How that will be is impossible to tell, but you will be a better person!
people have told me "you look great" it's nice to hear , good for self esteem... but i am not even close to where i want to be, regardless, i have learnt from my past, and have ALOT of future to go (heck i am only 37).
How she will react is impossible to tell.. her profile on lavalife said something to the effect of "want someone honest"
Well see my quote below? That is the "new me" outlook ... i follow it to a tee, even as tough as it can be..
it used to be : long weekend, oh i am going to go out with my buddies and drink a ton of beer and smoke 1,000 cigarettes.. now i am doing exact opposite.. in fact i limit myself to 2 beer max now (that way i can always drive home)..
Errr... the "exact opposite" would be, "NOT going out with your buddies, NOT smoking, and NOT drinking".
Sounds like you are still going out with your buddies, and still drinking. Just "less".
I'm not writing this just to pick on you. I'm writing this, so you look at what you are doing, honestly and with open eyes. You may choose to fool yourself, but you wont fool your wife. So, best not to fool yourself to start with, yeah?
you also didnt mention anything about smoking either. Are you "only" smoking one or two now when you go out?
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
it used to be : long weekend, oh i am going to go out with my buddies and drink a ton of beer and smoke 1,000 cigarettes.. now i am doing exact opposite.. in fact i limit myself to 2 beer max now (that way i can always drive home)..
Errr... the "exact opposite" would be, "NOT going out with your buddies, NOT smoking, and NOT drinking".
Sounds like you are still going out with your buddies, and still drinking. Just "less".
I'm not writing this just to pick on you. I'm writing this, so you look at what you are doing, honestly and with open eyes. You may choose to fool yourself, but you wont fool your wife. So, best not to fool yourself to start with, yeah?
you also didnt mention anything about smoking either. Are you "only" smoking one or two now when you go out?
Nope, only an occasional beer , i just meant IF i go for a beer (say after squash) , then my max is 1 or 2 .. i think i have had 4 beer in 5 weeks..usually it was 12 beer every friday (or every other friday)
last time i went out i had a diet coke, just wanted to have some supper, so a friend met me for a steak sandwich.
as for smoking, nope i am on champix to quit.. smoking doesn't mix with squash, running, yoga and other sports that i am playing
I am doing the EXACT opposite that i was doing no? No getting bombed, no partying, heck the last 2 fridays and saturday nights i spent in the gym
i know i am not having beers, i have lost nearly 20 pounds since i stopped doing that, and have done my time working out, doing yoga for relaxing and all.
I have walked around the house in my undwerwear (well just going quickly to grab water and then to bed).... and she has seen i am getting in wicked shape.. (but i am doing it for myself regardless, i want to be proud of my shape)
Friday night i am invited to a shindig at W's cousin
and guess what I am the DD (I offered to drive my friend)..
W was also invited i just found out. Not sure if she will go, and i won't ask her either(part of "space") , but you can guarantee i will be looking good, feeling positive about myself , smelling good all of that..
I will be going to socialize and have some dinner (it's an Atlantic themed pub, and my fave food is seafood).
And not to over analyze but what if she does go? What do i do?
What if she goes? What is she doesn't go? Will it make a difference in what you do or how you act? Have fun is what you do. Be happy, but not hyper-happy. Maybe give her a compliment, but don't cling to her.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Red, did you pick up Divorce Remedy yet? You REALLY need to read it. Another one I think you need is the "5 love languages". Once you know your wifes "love language" you can know how to show her love.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
