Thanks GF. I think I am still in a state of shock. I just felt like things were going so well. That was a horrible horrible way to find out and I so wish I hadn't gone to his apartment that night. Although, it wasn't out of the norm for me to just drop by there. He was usually excited when I just showed up.
I truly only think this thing with this new OW (whatever it is) has only been going on for about the past week. That is when H's attitude changed again. One thing I can say about him is that he isn't good at carrying on two relationships at once...maybe the guilt gets to him. Who knows.
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I think your H's anger is his way of dealing with the hurt, guilt, and disgust he must feel towards himself.
I believe this too. He told me that all this is what he deserves...i'm guessing he is talking about losing me and also the fact that he isn't happy.
H will always have his woe is me attitude. I guess he always did, maybe just hid it better or I overlooked it. I can't overlook it anymore.
I can't forgive him for this second time. It's too much. I actually think it would have been easier if it was the same OW. The fact that it is a different OW shows that he has a problem. Maybe he has always been that way. The majority of our R has been long distance due to me being in college and then him being in the AF. Maybe now he is just getting caught.
It's weird, a part of me is hurting so bad, but another part of me feels relief that I'm not going to have to deal with this anymore. He said he wanted to be my friend and that he couldn't imagine not having me as that. I know him better than anyone. I told him I can't be his friend, at least not right now...I need a clean break. I told him I didn't want to see him for a long time, it is too hard. He said saying I didn't want to see him was a horrible thing to say. I don't get him. He wants me there waiting in the wings until he gets done playing single. I can't do that.
