I understand what you said about not "knowing" W, even with the years you have spent together. It is a terrible feeling to share your life with someone and then to realize this. I liked what you said about being so infatuated with W that you down-played anything negative about her. Boy, that is so true. And the worst part is that we tend to lose ourselves when we put someone on a pedastal and allow anything and most everything to happen, looking the other way (me included). I really think that we have to stop that kind of thinking and behavior. It is detrimental to a marriage and a R, and I think that this is when the R becomes imbalanced. Too many people trying to reconcile go back to their old ways, with one trying too hard to make it work, being too passive, and the other in time taking advantage again, only to get tired of the R all over again. A "taker" in a R will most definitely take complete advantage of the "giver", and one person does all of the giving, the other all the taking in many cases. We have to think more of ourselves, even though we might not want to, and address what needs to be addressed. People really deep down want a strong, confident person in their life. About OM, hey, it is hard to get rid of anger and resentment, especially after being betrayed. I myself really have a problem with it, but I have it pretty much under control. It will go away for the most in time.
