I agree that love can grow if it is nurtured. Then theoretically can't it "ungrow" or die if it is not nurtured? Like I said, in my mind, the jury is still out on that one. I still love XH but not in the same way I once did. Now, it's more like he's a fellow child of God and a person I have a history with that I cannot hate or be indifferent to.
As far as hatred/animosity from your wife...I would attribute that to guilt, resentment, distancing, shame, hiding...all of those things that the WAS goes through. That's her deal. If I were to specualte and could read XH's mind I would say he became invisible/little contact etc., largely because of guilt. He would not want to look at the pain he has caused. I know he has a conscience. He doesn't spew (for a long time now), he avoids. They all do it differently.
