Hiya jethro,
I hear ya on the lingering doubts and the struggle to put all this behind you, but I came away with yesterday's post with an overall sense that you and your W are working thru this and are making a good bit of progress ... like you have reached some mid-way point. I even think that you have surpassed where I'm at and putting some distance between us. Way to go Big-J!!

Quoting jethro:
However, the other day she made the comment to me, "how can I put 100% into our R when I can't put 50% into me?" My interpretation is that she's saying she has stuff to deal with herself, and until she works through those things, she won't focus 100% on our R. So, more patience from jethro...ugh!
Basic principal of DBing, work on yourself before directing the priority of your focus on R. Same is true for her, Big-J! Many here will be envious (myself included) that your W is making a conscientious effort to work on self improvements with an eye on the benifit of strengthening the bonds of the R as well.

Rings!! Boy did I make a BIG stink about rings last year before I knew about DBing, when I woke up one morning shortly after my W made the point to stop wearing hers, to discover my ring was no longer on my finger! I tore the bedroom apart and came short of implying she took it to make a point M was over, but she sensed it. I'm still feeling the repercussions of that!

Quoting jethro:
My W has mentioned how she wants to go to bar where she met OM...
Well whatever her reasons are ... they are her reasons. The question becomes how much are you willing to support the fact she feels she needs to do this for herself? If you decide to go, I would consider going "act-if" she is taking you to show you off as being her man ... the man that stood by her side! ... go with the kind of confidence that one has in themselves for knowing ... its living to your code of integrity that has made your woman want to bring you back into that domain.

'til later,
KAW