Mulesqb still getting kicked in the a$$

[mulesqb]

She was in twice a week counseling with a Doctor not just a therapist, and he encouraged her to do "what will make you happy."

That is my fear right now. At least with our MC - she was pro-marriage.

Your wife and her actions is definitely not one of those things, despite how helpless that makes us feel.

I feel completely helpless right now. I need to talk to people constantly because of that - that's why I journal here and look for support. Can't thank you guys enough.

If you ALL can tolerate each other at home, wonderful. Just know that in many of these situations, people tend to find that the distance is ultimately helpful. For sanity at the very least and possibly for the relationship as well.

This is where we are now. I do think distance would help us but not the kids. What do I do about that??

This is not an easy journey Mules. It will wear you down more quickly than you could believe. But your marriage and your family is something that you would endure just about anything for, right? Honestly, until and unless infidelity comes in to the picture, can you morally do anything but continue to fight for this marriage?

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Bill - thank you for this part- I am going to print this out and carry it in my wallet for the time being. The roller coaster of emotions is the hardest part. I have noticed that the periods where she acts normal are longer than they used to be. Is that a good sign or meaningless??

But pressure from the outside, whether from you, the boys, or her parents has typically shown to be a big negative.

I promise that I am a non-factor with her counseling. She has brought it up twice and I did not ask one question either time. I felt like she wanted me to ask questions but I don't want to. I just think it will lead into one of those big conversations. And quite honestly I'm not up for any of those right now.

The MLC'er is experiencing a level of frustration similar to what the rest of you are going through. In their confusion they cry out, act out, and vascillate back and forth between seeming in control and out of control. This is NORMAL in this situation, and the down times she goes through is NOT because of you or the boys.

It was good to read this. It makes sense and will help me cope. I have been increasingly frustrated this week.

I hate to keep bringing it up, but Sue Monk Kidd was experiencing basically an MLC at the time of writing the book I recommended. While much of her story is from the spiritual side, she talks at length about the feelings of restlessness, dissatisfaction - especially with things that were once satisfying - and the sense of being lost with no direction. She found her way out, and your wife can do the same.

Bill - I don't know if you saw my post on Monday - but I was all set to give it to her then. But then I heard about her meltdown with her Dad and i figured I better wait. I have been reading it in the meantime. There are many uncanny similarities that she will be able to relate to. I think at times it gets a little heavy for her, but when I do give it to her I will encourage her to get through them.

You CAN do this. It will be hard and painful, but you can. And it IS worth it. Ask Jackthreebeans.

It is so worth it. She's my soulmate - somehow she will find her way back to me. At least that is what I believe - and there have been times that all my logic says differently. I keep telling my sons - she can keep knocking me down - I'll just keep getting back up.