Too late for DB for us, #9 (was in separated)

[cw68]

So yesterday my H and I had a MC session. But not MC to help our marriage, but to help us in divorce and post-divorce. It's all about learning to relate and communicate since we will be forced to be in close contact for a long time. Interesting session, interesting feelings.

My anger at him not being willing to do this when it could have actually made a difference came back. The SBT therapist was awesome and she came right out and said that she knew this probably wouldn't change his mind but she had to point out the reality of the situation. How the kids will be affected, how they are probably going to act because of it, the challenges they will face, etc. All the stuff that was my motivation to avoid the big D in the first place. As expected, it didn't phase him and he commented that he believed that the kids will be fine and that we will both find peace post-divorce.

Her excellent response to that? "Not to demean your feelings, but OF COURSE you believe that. You have to believe that in order to do what you're doing. If you believed that you were going to damage your children, you couldn't go through with that." It was a bit of an "AHA" moment for me because I just haven't been able to understand how he could think that everything would just be peachy-keen. She then followed up with the difficulties blended families bring, girlfriends/boyfriend, step parents, etc.

Then S5 really acted out a number of times yesterday and it hit me just how uncomfortable and difficult the fallout will be to deal with. A real estate agent came yesterday and we're starting the selling the house process. So sad. The upshot is the prospect of my buying my own house afterwards, but UGH. Then this morning working with my career coach on getting my resume together. Just so much frickin' work to face. I just want to skip ahead one year, or go back two years!

ugh ugh ugh