NTE - I absolutely think you should "have a headache". There is no point at this time in trying to have sex with her or giving in if she initiates. You two have so much undealt with animosity that it would actually be unhealthy to have sex.
Later, if you can make some progress with talking and BOTH of you trying to come to the table with solutions, then its time to have sex again. Until then, its only going to make you both feel worse.
And Baggy - I'm so happy it worked for you or at least that it didn't lead to divorce, to be in-house separated. I know it can work sometimes...I just don't want to see anyone have to go through it, it is nearly worse that being truly separated...knowing from having been there, too.
NTE - we're rooting for you...but unless you and your wife really *want* this to work, neither of you will be willing to make it work.
I know you feel you *want* it to work but I am talking about a different type of *wanting* than what you understand...
You will only understand it after either:
1. You do as Bagheera did and become the bigger person...or...
2. You are divorced and in hindsight you can see where you failed your wife as much as she has failed you.
