My H came home from camp at 12 years old, and found his mom had left his dad for OM, and actually left the country for a couple of years. His dad was distant with the kids, and had multiple affairs, even after marrying his present W. So, not many good examples for him. Although, he always said that he wanted to be different. Seems, our childhood environment has more influence than we realise.
My parents fought on occasion (my mom was 4ft 11ins tall, and was really feisty, but my dad did have a temper which I inherited, and had to work hard to overcome), but they remained married until my father's death (I was 16 at the time). My mother followed him 5 years later. Not sure what influence that had on me and my M, except that I did not want to put my kids through a D. Still, this is my second M, but my first was physically abusive, and I will not take that cr*p from anyone, so I left him 3 years after getting married.
Don't we all have fascinating stories!
This is so weird, the things we have in common!
I came home from camp at age 10 and my dad had been moved out and mom's OM had moved in. Dad died a year and a half later. Mom's OM stayed in our lives until she died when I was 22; he was an abusive alcoholic and beat both of us up until I figured out I could call the police at age 15.
This is also my second marriage, the first lasted ~3 years and became physically abusive--so I left.
H's parents are still together, no apparent history of serious marital problems except that his mom disappeared into herself at some point, has little personality but has always been a loving mom and grandma. Both brothers are happily and in long-term marriages. H was the youngest, felt he had to live up to his stellar brothers and felt emotionally abandoned by his father because he didn't. But nothing hugely dysfunctional. Nevertheless, he's in the midst of a huge and destructive MLC.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
