First, LL...remarkable post! Some of the things certainly rang true for me.
Quote: we have to sit back jethro and think real hard...are we really not getting enough or are we still expecting more because of what happend...if we are expecting more because of what happend then are we not punishing our s's and therefore not forgiving them.
BINGO!!!
I think I am doing exactly this, LL. I AM expecting more now and part of that IS payback.
Quote: one of the things I realized is this...for the betraying partner the "healing" process is easier or faster because they actually on some level have been dealing with it since the begining of deceit..now that it's out and done with they can move on. we on the other hand are new to the info and therefore take longer to process it. imagine if you will a time in the future when you no longer even think about this time...when the a is not something that even passes your thoughts...then all of a sudden w starts to want to talk about it...wants to appologize all the time...or let you know when she get's upset with things that remind her of what she did. how would that make you feel? would you not wish that she would just get over it and put it in the past. I know it's hard to fathom a time when we won't want to hear our spouses say sorry and show empathy and remourse for what they've done...but I'd bet it could and probably would happen that way.
LL this is an AMAZING insight. I need to copy it over to my thread right away.
Jethro, I hear what you're saying. I can see myself months in the future, if CJ drifts into old ways, or heck continues with some current ways!! ....feeling more and more like you do. I already do sometimes.
Like with the sex issue, I'm too weary to "talk" about it anymore (for now ) but I HAVE found that making "suggestions" via e-mail (something we'd never done before) can be fun, a new way to communicate about it that is low pressure.
So you never did tell us, was your break from the BB helpful at all??? I'm on here pretty much daily and wonder sometimes.
Although right now, it works as CJ is online (listening to day 2 of the conference right now) for his course at these times.
Wait, this is YOUR thread. Sorry dude!
(((((((((((((((((((((Jethro)))))))))))))))))))))
P.S. I'd throw you a bone, hon, but it's not my bones you want
BINGO!!!
....feeling more and more like you do. I already do sometimes. 
) but I HAVE found that making "suggestions" via e-mail (something we'd never done before) can be fun, a new way to communicate about it that is low pressure.
