Quoting LL:you may or may not notice that from time to time I only post on my own thread...this is when the bb is getting to me...reading about the goings on and not goings on in others lives can have a tendancy to bring me down...so when I'm already in a state of confusion or just plain down..I don't read much of others stuff.
That's a good idea.
Quoting LL:we have to sit back jethro and think real hard...are we really not getting enough or are we still expecting more because of what happend...if we are expecting more because of what happend then are we not punishing our s's and therefore not forgiving them.
For me, it's more that I know what patterns represent what didn't work in the past and I don't want to repeat those patterns. Also, I know what it takes to draw her closer, and she knows (as I've told her a million times) what it takes to draw me closer. This is what we need to work on, and frankly, I do far more work than she...and she will admit it.
Quoting LL:what can we do to break this pattern?
Honest to God, I don't know. I feel I "give" pretty consistently while she does it in more "spurts."
Quoting LL:what makes you so sure? how do you "know" that she'd do anything differently?
Because of how she has behaved in the past, LL.
Quoting LL:why SHOULDN'T you have to remind her of anything? should she always know what you need and how you feel?
Perhaps you have a point. Thing is, I feel as though I become a broken record. Frankly, it's my opinion she knows what she needs to do, but chooses not to out of apathy.
Quoting LL:for the betraying partner the "healing" process is easier or faster because they actually on some level have been dealing with it since the begining of deceit.
Interesting point. Given what you and DFB have said, I think maybe I have to do my damnedest to stop thinking about her A and concentrate on what we are doing today. I just get hung-up when I think that she had a full-blown A for over a year...a year she also put me through hell.
Yeah, I'm dwelling on it... Okay...okay...I'll try to let it pass...
BTW, she called me while you guys were posting and asked how I was doing. I asked her why she was asking me and she said, "because you haven't been yourself lately, and it's throwing me off."
