Yes, I agree to ALL of what you are saying. I have come to an ironic sort of gratitude over my H's A and the whole mess.
The best thing that can be done with tragedy is to figure out what you learned from the situation, how it can help you grow, how your experience can be used to help others.
I have had some people tell me they think it is just HORRIBLE that I grew up in an alcoholic home, suffered extreme poverty, was molested, etc., etc. the list goes on...
Some people look puzzled when I say, "yes, that was hard, but that is part of the past that made me who I am today, knowing what I know today. I like who I am, and those experiences are part of what made me who I am, so I can't totally regret them, much less feel sorry for myself.
I think this is the same perspective shift you are talking about in looking at your marraige now, isn't it?
Sorry to hijack, Jethro...but I think SB has a very good point & want to concur with it.
