Hey everyone.

Quoting KAW:
once the D appears "busted", this bb can become a two edged sword in ways, can be a hinderance in the healing process as much as being a godsend...
Yeah...that's for sure!

Quoting elwood:
Gee be thankful you are together and can build on that.
I am thankful, elwood, but that doesn't diminish how I feel about the BS my W has put me through for the last couple of years. When DBing, one first focuses on just getting their S back. This takes a lot of effort, much of which requires putting pain on the back-burner to concentrate on the task at hand. The second part, during Piecing, is trying to deal with all of the BS that previously transpired. Frankly, the second part is far more difficult. My W and I briefly talked about it last night and I told her that after going through having to deal with her bitchiness for a year and then the A was harsh on my system and I am simply trying to recalibrate. That's what I feel I've been doing for the last so many months: recalibrating.

Quoting talitsa:
For the next four days, why don't you write down all of the little, seemingly insignificant things that your W's do that express love.
Talitsa, it's not that my W doesn't express love for me in many ways, but my point is her love only runs so deep. Now, don't get me wrong, I actually don't think she is capable of giving anyone else any more love than she gives me (due to intimacy issues)...it's just that I'm not sure she's convinced that there isn't someone out there for whom she can feel this deep love. This is my dilemma.

Quoting SB:
I can say Jethro is that it DOES get easier to deal with, and then WHAM!!! after weeks or months of "almost forgetting" there it is in your face again....at least that was my experience this weekend.

But each time the upset is less, the aftermath shorter. Healing does happen, be patient.

Anger and resentment DO surface...in fact it took a while for me to even get there, there was so much HURT first.
SB, I find it extremely hard to deal with...even eight months after finding out about her A. I am reminded daily... Frankly, I wonder why it upsets me so much. I guess, for me, my W and I were highschool sweathearts and I ALWAYS felt like we were meant to be together and I have always loved her very much. For some years now I have not felt this love reciprocated, so I guess it's no wonder. Needless to say, she's done enough damage to make me question my feelings about her. This cr*p is so unfortunate...

Until next time...

jethro