Begining to reconcile....

[artteach]

Only three weeks ago H told me that he wants to "split, at least for a while" and last week called and said he is coming home for good. I asked about OW (been seeing her for over a year - I just found out 6 weeks ago) he said it is over and he told her. She is still calling him all the time at all hours but he has let me look at his cell phone and has told me when she calls and if he talks to her. The other day he said that he still needs time to "get over her and come to terms with what he did to me and our marriage" and for me to please be patient with him. He has moved from the couch to our bed again. We have not been intimate in 2 years and I guess I was hoping that this "recovery" of our marriage would not take long, but I guess it is going to. Yesterday he did hold my hand and give me a hug while we talked last night. He does say he loves me, but I think that if he does and says so why are we still having almost no physical contact? My own insecurities: she was younger (10 years), thinner, prettier and he no longer finds me sexually attractive. Trying to keep these thoughts out of my mind, but they creep in. I also know now how much they used to (hopefully not now) talked to each on the phone - looked at his cell phone records - and that hurts (he does not talk to me that much, why did he talk to her over and over all day and I got a 2 minute phone call....) How when you have decided to forgive and I have, do you not let these things destroy the changes and progress made to this point? He did tell me that he is relieved that I found out about OW, he said he hated lying to me and now realizes that he does not want to be with her. Again, why can't he just get over it and we can get back on track? Why does he still need time? Logically I know why, but does not make it any eaiser for me.