NikB #27 (still tentatively Piecing)

[NikB]

I forgot my update

Not much new... "back to the grind" this week. H has a race this weekend so we're busy getting ready for that. They have a long summer break so this is the last one til October. I'm kinda anxious about that because he's told me before that the only reason he was "able" to stay as long as he did is keeping focused on racing. Which I know in my heart is BS... I actually called him on it once by saying "H I don't understand something. You were totally obsessed with racing long before I met you - you didn't pick that up to avoid our R, did you?" He thought about it for a minute and then said no, maybe I was right on that.

That might actually be a good "opening" for an R talk, share with him my anxiety about that. Hmm.

I need to get back to some GALing on my own. Vacation was sooo great!! But I tend to forget about taking care of "me" so that will be one goal of mine after we get back from the races - set up some get togethers with friends.

One HUGE positive this week, or potential positive anyway, is that H is looking for another job!!! I know this wouldn't automatically 'end' things with OW (whatever is still going on), but I would feel so, so much better knowing he's not working with her. It's not "about" her or our M at all - it's because of the recession hitting his particular company really hard and his hours have dropped to practically zero - but I don't even care what the reason is at this point.

I get the sense that he's broken off most of the inappropriate contact with her, but that he keeps getting sucked back in (larely due to working so much with her, is my guess). I could be totally wrong, I know, it's just the gut feeling I have. What seems like forever ago, just when things started crossing the line with OW, he actually looked for another job specifically to get away from her (this was when I stupidly didn't recognize what was going on, saw how much he missed his/our "friend" and said I'd try again to be friends with her... duh..). Anyway - at one point he told me that he "needed" to be away from her in order to cut off the friendship with her. That was a lonnng time ago but I have to think it would still be pretty true.

Last night he talked to one of his friends who owns a shop and found out he's in desparate need of another experience mechanic - and tonight H is going to talk to him more about it. Keep your fingers crossed!!