Wow, thank you for sharing your feelings about counseling!!! Just let it all pour out!!!
Just to share my experience.... counseling REALLY helped me. I thought I was awesome at dealing with my feelings. Actually, I was really good at analyzing my feelings and then reciting my analyses to others. Which is COMPLETELY different from actually feeling my feelings, and definitely made it hard for me to be emotionally intimate with my friends. It seriously would have probably taken me a couple more lifetimes to figure that one out... but my counselor called me out on it. My view on counseling is that when it's good, it just speeds things up. It just acclerates the growth process and helps remove obstacles to your growth. But it took me a couple months for me and my counselor to really "click", and I only kept going because it was free through my school! However, now I think of my counselor as a precious jewel!
I do think that the BB can replace counseling. But in my situation, my counselor was able to see and help me adjust behavior that only shows up in real life, that wouldn't show up on the BB.
Sweet Julia, acceptance is HARD. It's still really hard for me to tell people "B broke up with me". If I do I kind of make a joke about it and laugh (to soften the blow to my own still-tender heart) or use some kind of euphemism like "I'm single now" or whatever !!! Essie has a really good way of thinking about it, like "Even though H and I are separated, and I don't like it, I do accept it."
BRILLIANT job on the text this morning suggesting breakfast next week!! I love how you are setting the parameters. Don't worry about being too harsh. Part of LRT is not always being available. And you were just being honest about your schedule and what works for you. The balancing act IS hard and the counter-intutiveness IS new and scary!!! But you are totally getting the hang of it, and we are here to help you!!
His text sounds good in that it is leading to a face to face meeting which is your goal. Some of the first communications from my B when he contacted me after months of NC didn't sound like him at all. I think it is hard for the WA's to find a way to relate to us as much as it is hard for us to relate to them. Um, I am totally with you on the over-analyzing thing too, I picked apart everything about every communication he sent me down to the placement of the stamps on the envelope
So, I'm sorry if you already posted them and I forgot, but could you share some of your goals with us?
