Hi, I've just been reading over your post, and sympothize with what you are feeling. I too, successfully DB'd. But sometimes, even after W being home and commited for over 2 yrs. now, that I still feel angry sometimes. Resentful sometimes, that my W don't truly understand the pain, and anguish that I endured during our S.
Don't get me wrong, our M is better than ever. But S, effects us more than our WAW's realize.
I found that the 10 mos of Dbing, didn't compare to the DBing since she has come home. The hardest thing is to maintain the frame of mind I had while DBing to get her home. My 180's have stuck, but sometimes you have to step back like you did with your "kid time", and evaluate your sitch.
My W see's this and is really thrilled with my attitude change, (like you, I had the holier than thow attitude). It does get easier my friend.
Your fresh out of the black hole. Give yourself some time to process this. I know, that your W not divulging everything right away is frustrating. She is DBing so to speak also. She sees the changes you've made. And with every little bit of info she divulges to you she feels more comfortable with the man you have become, over the man you were. Patience my friend.
Don't think of them as still more lies being uncovered. Think of them as the stocks reaping the dividends that you have invested in your M. She's not making up more lies to cover other lies. She's just choosing her time to tell you. Remeber even though she's the one that had the A, she feels bad too, that she did something to hurt you so much. But, she is home and working on a better M.
