2008 = Crazy Year (Still)

[Hope4us]

I don't know if this is advise, but I'll tell you what I did in my sitch.

When WW said she wanted a divorce and her lawyer advised her to "work it out nicely" I told her she could file if she wanted to, but I would countersue on the grounds of adultery, go for full custody of the kids (not an issue for us as they're old enough to decide who they want to live with, but she didn't know that), do everything in my power to NOT pay alimony since she was the one that had the affair and wanted out, would go for full child support when I had custody of the kids and would call her and OM to the stand in the divorce trial so they could explain their relationship for everyone to hear.

Wasn't too long after she said she didn't want a divorce until "at least" DS16 graduates H.S. She then tried to arrange another meet with OM even though she told me it was over and I then told her she needed to end it with OM (NC) or we needed to separate. She said she wanted to separate but DS16 and her weren't going anywhere. I then told the kids what was going on and their reaction and treatment of her seems to be what has finally ended the affair for good and given us the chance we have at saving the marriage.

I wouldn't bring it up. Let her. If she brings it up, make HER do all the work and tell her you're not going to make it easy.

Waywards think that they can convince their spouse to "nicely" divorce and they will live happily ever after with OP. Put some "reality" into that fantasy and they have a way of seeing things differently.

Just my .02