Interested in feedback from anyone with a similar experience. My W and I have been married 11 years, five years back we had a close call and after marriage counseling have had 4 really great years.
I get jealous because she likes to go on "girl vacations" with her single girlfriends (in their 40's). Intellectually I don't think whe would cheat on me, and she has told me these vacations are just about getting time away with her girlfriends. The only part that bothers me is she spends weeks buying sexy clothes and shoes for these trips and always obsesses about losing weight right before she goes. The other girls (and my wife) are gorgeous and the whole 4 of them together are something to see. Some of the single girls on the trip (well, they're all single now except my wife) hook up with guys on these vacations. They go out dancing (and my wife dances with other men -- she claims they are just all dancing together in proximity) and try to find the most upscale bars where the most "interesting" people go.
That last paragraph is the "fear in me" part describing the vacation. Again, I really do trust that my W is just having a blast with the girls, gets a kick out of watching the others talk to guys (she makes jokes about it to me afterwards). She always tells me she is not into meeting men on these trips. Neither of us have ever cheated on each other.
It still triggers the heck out of my anxiety. When I've told her this in the past it is repellant to her. She doesn't want to hear it. She wants me to be supportive of her chance to hang out with these girls -- she sees it as a chance to have close friendships with women that she never had when she was growing up.
After her last trip I admitted my anxiety and we've had somewhat of a marital relapse -- she hates getting into big talks about this kind of stuff and anything that seems like jealousy, insecurity massively turns her off.
Has anyone else had a similar thing? I know that jealousy can be a self-fulfilling prophesy. I think its natural for me not to like the idea of my wife dancing with other men, but since I trust her, I need to make peace with this.
