I feel like I am walking this tight rope and I'm constantly trying to keep my balance between detaching and doing my own things and trying to stay close and avaliable to her.
I think she wants to feel needed and loved from her comments to me, but how do I do that and give her space while I keep trying to be less dependent on her.
Its like a Catch 22. Today I want to be close and affectionate but the next couple we are just roomates.
She does not wear her rings but if she puts one on its her engagement ring only and that might be once every 10 days or so. WHY????
Everyone says to not pay attention to anything she does but I have to because these things have to have meaning. Its like her comments on the gifts, the questions on where I am going and why, the helping with things I haven't had time to get to and the nice things like the plant for my office and an engraved business card holder she got me.
I want to have hope but I also don't want to get my hopes up to much. I cant ask her about the M or the R. Its like a guessing game except you cant ask questions, not all of her actions make sense and the only one who knows the rules is her.
Here is an exaple. Two weekends ago she went to meet one of her girlfiends for dinner and a movie. She wore her ER out but when she got home it was not on. She had taken it off and stuck it in her change purse. Why wear it out but take it off afterwards. I don't make any comments about her not wearing her rings or anything so why do that. I would prefer that they remain in the dish in our bathroom than thrown in a change purse like any common piece of jewlery.
Is she trying to reassure me that she was with a girlfriend and not someone else. If so atleast remember to put it back on. This was atleast the third time she did it.
Again I am just rambling but I need to write it down and get it out of my head because non of it makes sense and probably never will. I just need to learn to ignore the stupid stuff like the rings and concentrate on the important stuff.
Dont hit me to hard with a 2x4 its just my mind trying to fit all the pieces of the puzzle together.
