Quote: What if I'm purposely hanging on to the pain because it gives me an edge and doesn't make me forget that I need to keep DBing? Have I become used to being the martyr? Am I using my "pain" as a weapon in some way? Am I sabotaging my own efforts to really try and make things work out?
you are the only one who can answer these questions...the fact that you come up with such specific ideas should tell you something...my guess would be it is not so much the are you as the why are you doing these things.
my guess again...protection.
Quote: I know she is feeling stronger about our R, but am I?
a new place to be in isn't it. when the was is actually present and probably more present in the r then they ever were...when we (the busy fixers that we are) no longer have our focus on them and their feelings what we are left with are our own. pretty scary aint it!
