Quoting Wiley:Many of us here would stick our pride in our back pocket and make that trade with you.
Understood. Thing is, Wiley, I have given her three BIG opportunities to come clean with me and have learned more each time I give her this opportunity. It's less about what she did than it is that she lied about it to begin with when all I wanted was the truth to begin with. I can swallow my pride only so much...
Quoting Sandra:This has been my dilema...
I know, Sandra. In fact, yesterday morning when I was working out and thinking about sending an e-mail to my W, I was thinking about what you've posted. IMHO, it is always best to be totally honest...especially in these situations. Lies and half-truths have a tendency to come back and bite us in the a$$. She was scared... She was scared that it would set us back from all of the progress we've made. And yes, she was also trying to protect my feelings...but I told her that that's not her decision to make...
Quoting holdingon:You thought all along that it was a PA, right? Otherwise you wouldn't have obsessed about it.
Well, I knew all along it was a PA because she told me it was. The ONLY thing they supposedly didn't do was have actual intercourse (but all the other bells and whistles were there). Thing is, Holdingon, she has led me to believe time and time again that this is where it stopped (but believe me, I'm not stupid and suspected it anyway). She told me numerous times that she didn't have intercourse with him because she thought "she could live with herself if she didn't." Well, all of that song and dance BS was just that. She did do it. Her fabricated reasons for not doing it just demonstrate yet another level of deceit that bothers me.
So, yesterday I came home early and left with the kids. I couldn't even look my W in the eye. In fact, I was dreading having to see her at all because I didn't know what to say to her. I just thought it best that I had time to sort out my thoughts before having a discussion. This is a 180 for me because I'm one of those compulsive, we-have-to-work-this-out-now (even if it's 3:00 AM) types of people.
She tried to engage me, but was respectful of me needing space. We didn't start talking until around 11:00. It was a good talk that lasted into the wee morning hours. She feels awful about everything...naturally...and reaffirmed her committment to making things work. A lot was said, good things and painful things, that I don't really want to post right now...
