You thought all along that it was a PA, right? Otherwise you wouldn't have obsessed about it. I am sure she told you it wasn't hoping to lessen the guilt she felt and lessen the reaction from you. I am sure she did not want you thinking about it every time you and W are intimate.
Do you want your W and R back if she had the PA? Was this a deal breaker when you were DBing like crazy? Or did you think, I will forgive her, regardless. I think we both know the answer.
The truth is, you are working toward unconditionally loving your W. Like you love your kids. This is just one more challenge in getting there. It IS time to do a gratitude check...
And by the way, I think you SHOULD beat the crap out of OM. Sure wish my H's OW's H would beat the crap out of my H... but NO-O-O, he filed for D instead.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
