Hiya holdingon, I'm sorry to hear about your sitch, but I wanted to chime to give you some hope that it can be turned around. Nov, 2001, my W told me she wanted out of M. When I expressed, I could accept that, she told me about her ongoing EA. At the time, I was able to convince we couldn't throw away nearly 20 years without giving our M a second chance. In Feb, 2002, she told me she slept with OM hoping that I would be convinced then that M was over and it was time to D. She told me she wanted to pursue her feelings for OM, but she still cared for me and wanted to be friends. I used that to my advantage. When she wanted to spend time with me, I made the best of it by being upbeat and fun-loving and as attentive as I could be to her. I intended now to be the other OM and strived to enjoy every moment she wanted to be with me.
So to clarify, while there is nothing you can do about R between H & OW, nor can you do anything to get them to rethink what they are doing ... but you can do something about being the best you can be ... in order to give yourself the best chance to attract him back towards you.
