So, now I wonder if XH learned anything from this exercise. I sure did. Admittedly, I am like him in that I was a caregiver and not the best at "receiving" because I always felt like I had to take care of everything and became quite independent because of it. My father was an alcoholic, so not always present and my mom died when I was 18. I never viewed these things as abandonment but I can see how they fueled my insecurity. I guess two co-dependents don't mix. In the last four years I have been working on accepting and asking for help when I need it and trying to show some vulnerability but it's a tough row to hoe when you've been trained for nearly forty years to be otherwise.
