The advice I get from Michelles books talks about going dark, and the advice I get from my counselor (I found a new one, this one is trying to help me save my marriage) says that I should try to talk to him once a day, a light conversation lasting about 1 minute, not about the R at all, maybe a joke or an interesting person I met today, and get off the phone before they do, if they dont answer leave a message. He said that besides letting him know that I still care about him, it will put a tremendous strain on his R with the OW. I have to admit, I do like this advice, especially the part about the strain on their R :/. But I also like the advice from DR.

I think that Im nervous about going dark, that it just lets him have a fine time with the OW, no worries, no work, no house, no WIFE, hes taken a vacation to go see her. I havent talked to him for 8 or 9 days, and I really think that as long as hes with his shiny new 22 year old he wont miss me. Im not sure what to do. Maybe going dark is easier on me too, I dont have to deal with his rejection if I dont set myself up for it.

Any thoughts?

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...