And the day came ...

[sage]

Ok...just a quick thought...(I'm supposed to be doing a paper for school! Procrastination!)

I used to think that h. would never be an equal partner around the house...for years and years I assumed that due to (what I thought were solely) his actions (or lack there of). Found DB, started noticing what he DOES do around the house, started thanking him for it, appreciating it, feel better about myself, feel better about him, think he feels better too. He does a lot now. I ask him to do stuff, too sometimes.

I started noting and journalling the positives on my thread in order to make myself notice them, appreciate them. What if I started mentioning to h. the things that he does (the ilys, the hugs, the whatevers) that I appreciate and make me feel safe, loved, secure, whatever? I don't think I do that much now...my plan wouldn't be to overwhelm him with it -- not much good in that! But, if h. feels as though "nothing is ever enough" in part because I never tell him what IS working, well, couldn't noting and appreciating and commenting be a good thing????

Doesn't hurt to try, right?

Sage