How Much BS do I believe?!

[pisces9]

well i stayed away from contacting him- he contacted me about our cabin that got an offer- so we talked...it was ll good.

then i am reading the 5 love languages and i realize how many I have tried with him. none was ever good enough or "worked".

and it made me realize he didn’t try many with me- he tried his way and thought that was enough. He just never really made me a #1 priority – I didn’t feel it really at all.

also – I am just ansty and nervous that he will say the D word again..

he is just closed off and i want him to show me he wants to work on things- maybe he does bc after our talk he hasnt brought up the R again.

he is very shy and closed off so i just see him getting so clammed up and never opening again. he hasnt talked to any of his friends about this and i am scared that he wont take the time to learn about how he can be a better H...or even figure out what went wrong.

this is not a good attitude for me to have- i know this.

i need to snap out of it...also i have had a few days of feeling a little sick and nobody to be there for me...although when i was sick he really didnt do much for me anyway.

ugh. ugh. ugh.