well, as you know if you've read Calystra's reply to me (and Jim's a while back), etc., I've got some work to do...not just in terms of getting "back on track" after my recent backslide...but in terms of breaking new ground. I haven't successfully DB'ed my way out of a self-created cycle -- h and I getting closer (through doing "things that work") then I start to freak out a bit (is he pulling away? is he still seeing ow?) then I bring it up then we're back to the same old same old. Even when I DON'T bring it up to h. it's all still there. I read through my posts yesterday (yikes, yes all of them) and I was so sad and mad by some of them -- they took the tone -- here are the good things but oh, by the way, I'm still feeling like crap.
Hey, that could be the title of my autobiography!
So...gotta get my DB head not only screwed on but dramatically improved. gonna respond to Calystra AND gonna pull out my list of 32 foibles and put actions around them. gonna start rereading DR -- have a commitment with a BB friend that we're both gonna get to the first 2 chapters by Friday.
Here are my positives:
1. H and I had tango lessons last night. He said all kinds of great stuff afterwards about how he loved to dance with me.
2. We negotiated through a little skirmish after the class when we went seeking food and got all tied up in traffic, dead ends, etc. we did a good job communicating with each other.
3. the kittens slept on the bed for the first time last night. It was very cozy for all of us!
Will be back with the first step on my new journey soon...
sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
