It takes courage to ask for help. But it's not just men who are prone to shame attacks for voicing vulnerability and asking for assistance. Many women have this problem too, especially eldest daughters who learned growing up that they could not rely on a parent to be competent and nurturing. In this common circumstance, a woman may possess a towering competence but have enormous difficulty in putting forth the more sensitive, vulnerable parts of herself. It can be an enormous achievement for her to say to a partner, friend, or family member, "I'm having a terrible day. May I come over and talk?"
