Well yesterday evening and today have been interesting. We went looking at houses together again....a positive sign. We saw one we both loved but it was very expensive. Before we even got home W starts acting very negative towards me. I try to reinforce saying I have a positive outlook on it but want to talk about it. She continues to be negative and starts pressuring me to put an offer in saying someone probably already has. I retort with please don't talk to me that way and I don't have a negative outlook and not to turn the screws since the house was reduced all weekend long and no one esle made an offer on it. She continues to be negative and throw spite at me and I respond by "please don't talk to me that way", she says "what are you my father". I respond with "no I am your husband and I don't deserve to be talked to that way" She just kind of pouted at that point and said "not really" I repsonded with "hows that" very calmly to no response and left it at there. I will say I said a couple of prayers in there and had to remember to "act as if" pretty hard.

Later I tried to talk to her about it while we are on the couch and she just says "I am done talking about it" and starts to pout. I respond with "are you going to pout or do you want to talk like adults" I then say "my only hesitation about this place is due to love towards you". In our other house she felt trapped in her career due to the expense of the house. The career makes a lot of money but has a lot of stress which has taken its toll on her and us.

She cooled off for a while and then was amicable. When we went to bed she said "well are we going to talk about it" I said I tried to but you said you were done talking about it. Then I said lets talk about it and we did.

This morning she sends me another e-mail and said she was interested in one that was more middle of the road.

All in all I was pretty proud of myself, I was assertive without being controlling, I didn't let her walk over me but let her know what I was thinking was out of love, and I didn't press the issue or try to lecture (which I tended to do in the past).

The best part is that the new house we are looking at getting has a hot tub \:\) (OK....what did you expect I am a guy afterall!)

TwinDad
Me 39, W 36, M 11
W - MLC, WAW????
2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old
Start of the Long and Bumpy Road.....
On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning