Well I just found a way to look at phone numbers online. She's been constantly texting him as I feared. No I have 'iron clad' proof now what?
Lynn
Lynn,
Ordinarily, I would say "now you confront her with that," but your confrontation is going to be implied in your forceful e-mail response to HER e-mail "list of demands." In other words, when she hits the roof and starts screaming at you "I TOLD you, I'm NOT having an affair!", you simply say "Stop it. We both know that's not true, so please stop lying to me -- it's incredibly disrespectful." If she continues to lie, end the conversation immediately, saying "When you're ready to tell me the truth, we can discuss this," and leave the room.
Time to send her a version of that e-mail response.
She's playing you. She's being nice in order to get what she wants, or -- more accurately -- in advance, ASSUMING she's going to get you to be compliant and get what she wants. You'll have your answer about how she REALLY feels when you tell her you're not only moving back in, but you're sleeping in your own bedroom, and that you won't tolerate her communicating with her boyfriend from inside of YOUR home.
Steel yourself, Lynn -- it's going to be a storm like has never blown before, but -- just LIKE a storm -- it will soon blow over. Once she realizes you're serious in your boundaries, and that you're willing to enforce them, and that you WON'T engage with her when she's screaming, you will get a calm, more respectful wife. She may still cheat on you (you can't control her), and she'll be frustrated as hell and alternately confused, angry, nice, aloof, and every other emotion under the sun, but the STORM will pass.
