shhhh...I'm sitting in class! we're doing stuff on our laptops so I'm under cover here...
I really do think that building up the positive stuff will eventually have a positive impact on the overall health of my m. I guess the issue is that I get impatient ... well...that and terrified as I've mentioned a bunch of times! I think that's what happened the other night...I've been feeling impatient for h. to "overtly" participate more fully coupled with anger and fear over thoughts that the ow is still present.
AS for the apology -- well, to be honest, I wasn't apologizing for needing reassurance OR for needing to talk about the a. what I was apologizing for was the timing of my outburst and a few things that I said and did -- pulling out a suitcase, etc.
I know for certain that I need to learn how to bring up my needs for discussion and clarity in a much better way. Problem is, that my need for reassurance is an emotional response...it's not when PMA is high and I'm feeling aok. It's in the darkness of night...when I'm down or demoralized. Hmmm...maybe h and I should be addressing these q's before things come to a boil.
anyway, I was heartened to see some babysteps last night but I'm missing h -- no calls, no emails for a couple of days now...bummer.
Sage
PS I'm so happy for both of you re. the positive movement in your sitchs. In both cases, it seems to me to be a byproduct of patience and looking at the positives and great DB'ing!
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
