Quote: On the one hand, I feel like at this point, it should be ok for me to ask for reassurance re. ow and our m. and NOT have to deal with D talk and anger and whatever.
From my perspective, I don't think it should even be an issue as to whether it is "ok" to seek reassurance, just HOW are you going to accomplish this?
Quote: tho' perhaps what is so clearly FEAR in my mind looks like something completely different in h's.
Good point Sage. The very make-up of the male brain does make it a little more difficult for many men to translate the subtle distinctions in expression that mark various emotions. (Research has proven this, not me). My H often misinterprets my facial expressions and I think sometimes it has caused him to judge my moods incorrectly, thereby causing him to treat me according to his misinterpretation, which causes me to be hurt by what seemes like unkind behavior on his part for no good reason and....on and on.
Quote: I wish that I could have pushed thru this on my own but I just couldn't, I don't know why. Lack of patience, bad DB'ing, a weakness in me?
I couldn't disagree more. That you are a human being with needs just like everyone else, would be closer to the truth, I think. You understand the need for validating you H's thoughts and feelings perfectly well. Why would you think that you can do without the same indefinately and not be affected adversely?
Sage, do you have any means of relieving some of that pent up tension in your body, like running, dancing or beating up a gang of innocent pillows perhaps?
