But I must say this stuff does happen. I just wish your H was a little kinder in dealing with your feelings. Jeesh!
Has he read "After the Affair"? or am I correct in remembering that he's not 'big" on the self-help stuff? Bloody #$@%&***!
I know that helped my H see that at times I NEED to ask about her, about them. In fact he WANTS me to bring it up when it bothers me. I SOOO wish the same for you.
Why did he get SOOO defensive? And what's with the D talk? Was he being sarcastic? Was he "fed up" that you "still don't trust him 100%"? Your boy needs a reality check, Sage.
Sure he's been showing you love, doing things, and that's all good. Does he think that should be enough? Like he doesn't need to reassure you now and again, and maybe again. Hell this is HARD to heal from!
I'm really mad that he threw the D thing in your face. How unkind and selfish. And he really DIDN'T answer your question at first did he? Why in God's name would he say "she's not the only one who e-mails me"
His idea of a joke? A nice sharp dagger to pierce Sage's fragile heart? Can you send him over here so I can slap him upside the head a few times???
Okay, now to play my role as devil's advocate. He is probably sick and tired of you suspecting him of being in contact with her. Ok, legitimate. But you know what? Your healing is on YOUR timetable, not HIS!
Is he going to have to put up with more of this kind of stuff as you heal, most likely yes. So maybe he needs a more constructive way of dealing with you in these moments.
He's turning it around on him: my wife doesn't trust me, poor me, I'm doing XYZ and it's still not enough, poor me, I can't even check my e-mail (which is how I had my EA) without her being bugged, poor me!
What about YOU?
I know I said it before but I really hate him brining up D. He sounds like a giant baby. "Well if I can't have my way, I don't want it at all".
Talk about jumping to conclusions"! Sure CJ felt bummed to learn that I still have doubts, still don't trust him fully, but he didn't run for the door!
Oh Sage, it's late and I'm starting to ramble. Will check back in tomorrow.
