hey beth , I think that's what I is, I will never understand howhe could just look at me and lie his arse off in such a BIG way, I just realized how many more times he lied to me right before the whole thing came apart, how he'd say "she made me do this and that" when all along it was him willingly going to her and buying the phones to put one over me since I had control of the logs online.
Anywayyyyyyys, enough rubbish! (he he, listening Harry Potter on CD) it's a wonderful day, he doesn't deserve all time I waste thinking of him and his crap.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Anywayyyyyyys, enough rubbish! (he he, listening Harry Potter on CD) it's a wonderful day, he doesn't deserve all time I waste thinking of him and his crap.
AMEN to that! Still it's a hurt that we'll always carry with us. So get over it completely??? I'm not so sure about that. My girlfriend who knows a thing or 2 said, "you'll get through it but you'll never get over it." I'm sure that it won't be a daily thought but from time to time things that happen do spark our memory. Hey, that's life!
Perhaps I'm still fooling myself and as long as I think they are not together all the time it doens't hurt. I think I hurt mostly because he swore up and down he couldnt' be with her and how it was all over, I think that's the part that really makes me mad, for I wouldn't lie in such away and then turn around and do what I said I'd never do.
Like Bethie, been there done that! The betrayal, the loss of "the dream," the hurt to the kids, all of it hurts.
So do we get over it? Real healing and real forgiveness, I think, is giving up our right to dwell on the hurt, to demand justice. The "trigger" a reminder of some sort will always rise up to confront us. Today, it was altering my schedule to get a book for my son's summer school. X does her part to do many things for the kids I am never aware of because they live with her. So when she asked me if I could go to a local store to get a book she put on hold, I agreed to do it. Still the temptation to dwell in "It would not be like this if we were married" rises up but I have to fight it off.
I also remind myself of the teachings and parables that tell me I am a forgiven sinner and need to let X's actions "GO!"
Often, it is hard to resist getting into that "resentment/bitterness" mindset but it gets easier with time. Hang in there, you are doing well!
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
You are amazing Cat. Your positive energy just bounces off my computer!!! I love it. You take care sweetie. I think the time you spent in piecing helped you grow and heal to where you could take on this curve in the road with grace. I've said to others, you have to get to place where you can be happy with or without them, and I think you've got it. I know there are still difficult times, but you have become such an amazing person. So strong and wise...
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Today, it was altering my schedule to get a book for my son's summer school. X does her part to do many things for the kids I am never aware of because they live with her. So when she asked me if I could go to a local store to get a book she put on hold, I agreed to do it. Still the temptation to dwell in "It would not be like this if we were married" rises up but I have to fight it off.
I don't think that those feelings are unusual or not Christian. We are only human and considering what we've been put through I think it's a great accomplishment to only have those feelings from time to time. When you think back from where we were as opposed to where we are now, I think we're doing great!
Hey cat,
I agree with running you are doing great and helping so many people in the process.
awww, thanks guys! where would I be without you all?
Well, yesterday afternoon d5 tells me stbx got a ticket, s10 rectifies her and says it was a warning.. for going 80mph in the highway, and of course,him being a cop gets away with it, the problem is, d5 was not wearing a booster seat and s10 tells me she never does! argh!!!! I was so mad, and I can't do anything about it! can't "make" him do anything. I prayed about it and complained to myself last night, I called him and he wouldnt' pick up nor return my vm(he does this to his own mom too).
This morn I asked him where the booster seat was, he thought about it and said he "just found it" last night (for a nanosecond I believed him for it is in my nature, but then I realized he's most likely lying) anyways, I tell him how she isn't ready yet to not use a booster seat and it is dangerous, he just asked me which kid "ratted him out" SIGH******* I swear, if I could report him I would, but heaven forbid something happens to either kid with his stupid driving (ever since he took a defensive course on the academy he thinks he can drive like a maniac).
He didnt' call me back last night after I left a msg that said to please call me-- but he doens't think 2x about asking me for his dr's phone # or the address to such and such, grrr! @#%@#%
OK ok, rant over, ish! I know this is just the beginning of things to come, more grief will surely come my way when he takes kids with him, I just pray to God to give me patience with this looney.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Cat - Just wondering, how does he pick up the kids from you and leave without a booster seat? If you see he doesn;t have a booster seat in the car, can you refuse to let them go with him?
I will just have to leave my booster seat and just insist he brings the one I bought for his car long ago, he comes to say with kids at my house --for now--and I leave for work, no way of not letting him leave with the kids.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
"Father, it is nothing for you to divinely protect these innocent Children from the unsafe behavior of their father. I pray you intervene in this situation such that cat can come back and praise you for their protection AND anything that leads to X’s compliance with the law, even if it is another traffic stop that results in a ticket and not a warning. Put her minds at ease that you are looking out for these precious little ones and that you hear these petitions. Amen."
Cat you know his cop mentality so hearing anything from you probably sounds like screeching nails on a chalkboard. HOWEVER, prayer can prick him like he has never been pricked before! I am with you in this campaign.
One of my favorite verses when dealing with something challenging:
Isaiah 26:3
Quote:
You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.Trust in the Lord forever, For in Yah, the Lord, is everlasting strength.
If needed, vent away again, anytime! (It is your thread )
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
, I think that's what I is, I will never understand howhe could just look at me and lie his arse off in such a BIG way, I just realized how many more times he lied to me right before the whole thing came apart, how he'd say "she made me do this and that" when all along it was him willingly going to her and buying the phones to put one over me since I had control of the logs online.
so hearing anything from you probably sounds like screeching nails on a chalkboard. HOWEVER, prayer can prick him like he has never been pricked before! 
I am with you in this campaign.