Thank you so much for your help on my thread, girl!!! It sounds like you have lots of questions and are getting great advice from One Day and TwinDad already! It is so great to have their perspectives!
One thing that comes to mind about how to ask MEN to help do things like prepare your house for sale is to say "WILL you help me do ____?" instead of "CAN you help me do ___?" Have you read mars and venus? there is a whole section on how the CAN makes men feel weird, but the WILL makes them think, YES, I WILL HELP!!!!
One Day already pointed out that it was four months before she saw a baby step from her H. In my situation I had no contact and then after over 5 months (??) there was a tiny contact from my B. I would not be surprised if others found it took 1-4 or more months of DB'ing before their WA responded with a baby step. I think part of it is that they are going through so much themselves, it is maybe hard for them to pick up on what is going on around them. No matter what they say, leaving your partner cannot be easy... AND we have to show them that our changes are consistent before they will believe we are for REAL. All of that takes time. I know as OD said, that's not much consolation, but the time is going to pass any way, it's up to us to choose how to let it work for us in our situations!
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I worry that I am detaching too much. When we met on Wednesday there was nothing between us, really nothing. I didn't even like the guy sitting opposite me and yet he is my husband. He may as well be a stranger; I didn’t even feel that I would ever be attracted to this guy now.
OK, I don't think it's possible to detach too much--but maybe you could explain more what you are feeling. Frequently a DB'er will get more discouraged/negative about their sitch right before they detach a big chunk more. Also, it is par for the course to feel nothing for your H right now and not find him attractive or even recognizable. That's why we call them Aliens That doesn't mean that your real H isn't hidden deep inside somewhere.
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Clearly contacting him doesn't work and not contacting him doesn't work either. I know time is supposed to be a good thing but I know my h and out of sight is out of mind.
I'm glad you're keeping track of what is working and not working, and I'm sorry to hear that you feel like nothing is working. I would experiment some more before concluding that nothing you do has any effect. honestly LRT can be really powerful because it gives the WA space to miss you and wonder about you. It might be working more than you can see at the moment. MWD says to try most techiques for 2 weeks before evaluating whether or not they work. on the "going dark" section of the BB it says you can do NC for 2,3, or 6 months (!!!). Going Dark/NC and LRT are a little bit different, but I just mean to say that even though LRT is one of the most powerful techniques it still can take longer than the other ones. Esp if there is an MLC element, which I am not sure, there many be an MLC element with your H?
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I am also confused because I met up with an old friend (a guy) who was really lovely to me and has said that he likes me and wants to see more of me. This made me feel really good about myself and of course gave me a rush (ideas that he will be my saviour from this pain and my life will be happy ever after…). He put his arms around me and it was so nice to just be hugged again and have someone feel concern for me.... it would be so nice not to live in reality for a little while. But how long am I supposed to keep going with when my h has made it more than clear he doesn’t want me anymore and now I feel I have betrayed my h. I feel really ashamed to admit this on the forum but I am confused by it.
((((JULIA)))) don't worry darling! you can tell us ANYtHing and we won't reject you. I am sure many of us on the BB would love for a handsome loving human to take us into their arms!!! Don't be ashamed. Of course it's confusing!!! Just be careful. You are probably really craving comfort and consolation right now, but if you think things really might work out with Old Friend, wait on it a bit. You wouldn't want to start a new relationship on shaky ground, so build some solid ground for yourself with yourself before doing anything radical with Old Friend!!
About your birthday, just make yourself some fabulous plans and act as if you aren't expecting anything from H. Even if you need to pretend he is away on a trip or on a mission to the moon. Just make it a special happy day for yourself with your friends! Painting pottery sounds fun!
That doesn't mean that your real H isn't hidden deep inside somewhere. 
