Are you ready to jump?

[Committed2Him]

Perhaps I'm still fooling myself and as long as I think they are not together all the time it doens't hurt. I think I hurt mostly because he swore up and down he couldnt' be with her and how it was all over, I think that's the part that really makes me mad, for I wouldn't lie in such away and then turn around and do what I said I'd never do.

Like Bethie, been there done that! The betrayal, the loss of "the dream," the hurt to the kids, all of it hurts.

So do we get over it? Real healing and real forgiveness, I think, is giving up our right to dwell on the hurt, to demand justice. The "trigger" a reminder of some sort will always rise up to confront us. Today, it was altering my schedule to get a book for my son's summer school. X does her part to do many things for the kids I am never aware of because they live with her. So when she asked me if I could go to a local store to get a book she put on hold, I agreed to do it. Still the temptation to dwell in "It would not be like this if we were married" rises up but I have to fight it off.

I also remind myself of the teachings and parables that tell me I am a forgiven sinner and need to let X's actions "GO!"

Often, it is hard to resist getting into that "resentment/bitterness" mindset but it gets easier with time. Hang in there, you are doing well!