girlfromipanema x 4

[girlfromipanema]

For me, the fear of the unknown with regard to my future is what gets me stuck into believing what I have now is worth saving. I feel like throwing in the towel, but, as someone who honors her commitments, I believe I will see this through to the end. Maybe. I am feeling highly fickle these days.

I left the house before my husband returned on Saturday. He never asked if I looked at his phone, but I was having a hard timing acting like my charming, sweet, lovingly detached self. ;-)

Yesterday was difficult as well. Emotions churning, questions of why, how, WHY??? Sadness that I don't trust the man I married or the girl I once considered a very close friend. More sadness that each of them would choose the other over their relationship with me. This morning I was *thisclose* to asking him something that would not have had a positive response. I'm proud that I bit my lip, and thankful that the raw emotion from earlier has passed.

Good things:
I'm having a magnificent hair day. My OM seems to be doing very well (I'll post his pic on fb later). I saw a fox in our office parking lot (!!!). I bought a $170 toothbrush and I don't regret it (Sonic Care - I love it!). No matter what, I'll be OK.