Quote: I'm jealous of jethro's breakthru. I'm scared that the reason h. doesn't tell me things is because he still doesn't really know if he wants to be with me. I'm scared that he's still looking for an out -- that I'm ok "for now" but that he'll never feel as though he can be honest with me. I'm scared he's reading this and thinking "she's never happy. I'm gonna leave"
I haven't been posting much lately, as you are aware of. But I have been following. And all I can say about all of that is BULL!! I read about all the wonderful things that are going on between you and your H. How you guys can talk, how he listens, how he wants to spend time with you, how he is going out of his way to do special little things for you. And so I call bull on you. You are jealous of jethro? Do you realize that most of us here would give anything to have 1/100th the opportunities you have right now? You have all these worries and insecurities. Well guess what? Most of us have these same worries and insecurities justified on a daily basis, with their words and actions, and usually in an extremely blunt fashion.
So you need to get with the program. I have been following Jethro's sitch for a long time, back when we were both still in newcomers. There is nothing you are going through that he hasn't gone through before. I see the same slow progress in your sitch that I saw in his. Let's look at the positives.
He has owned up and taken responsiblity for his actions. He didn't leave you for her. He is working with you to make your marriage a better thing. He is showing love to you on a daily basis.
I'm sure there are a ton of other things that I could list, but I've taken up enough of your thread with my little mini-rant. I will get off my soapbox now, and say that I really think you have so much to be grateful for, if you just sit back and look at things, and not worry so damn much.
I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.
