reading your post today about your interactions and ponderings about last night made me think of an e-mail that gets passed around...one where the woman lists the evenings events and her thoughts and feelings about it...questioning h's bad mood or whatever mood he was in...she gives much detail to every little thing and yada yada yada...
then the h gives his run down of the very same evening...it was simple...to the point...and his "bad mood" or "distance" was simply that the "sox" (or whatever team) had lost..
I am not trying to simplify your feelings...I am simply trying to point out that wondering and trying to figure out what h is thinking and feelings is not going to get you anywhere...
instead focus on you and your feelings...if you don't like the way you are feeling at a given moment see if you can "force" yourself to feel a different way...instead of "feeling" that there is some discomfort between you and h try to "feel" like everything is nice...you enjoy the evening and not worry what he's thinking feeling etc...perhaps if you relax and enjoy yourself...h will relax and enjoy you enjoying yourself.
I've experimented with this from time to time and it does seem to actually work...
