I guess I do come off as preachy. I really don't intend to hold myself up in the way that might imply. Honestly, I am just another fallible sinner, like everyone here. But I now know how important it is to look not to the world for solutions but to the Lord.
I have been where you might be right now. For a long time I was disillusioned with my church due to the behavior of its organizational hierarchy. You have even more reason given the betrayal by your H and his station in your place of worship, not to mention the abject cowardice of the clergy and congregation, for despairing of religion. But I hope for your sake that is not the case, nor does it become the case, that you turn that against the Lord.
I know it is natural to be cynical about God and Religion in light of how badly even the shepherds muck up their job. I was there too. But I have come to realize that those aspects of Religion which deserve scorn happen not because of God, but (again) despite Him.
If I have judged your words wrong, please forgive me. (I want to be wrong in this case.)
