another date set today!

[jandn]

Damned no matter what I do or say. W did think I was losing weight yesterday, but said i dont know, i dont have a scale. Did text W back to see when to call. W said the usually n evening at her work but dont want to bother her at work. Probably just call after kids go to bed. Maybe she will want me to come over:) But I know I should decline. Plz Help!

[jandn]

I wonder if W wants to be chased or what. especially the comment about being so in her prime and not having a boyfriend or husband.

[jandn]

W wants me to call if I want to try and work on different schedule for kids. When I call I know what I need to do, small talk my butt off. Man i get upset bouT what happened while driving.

[jandn]

I was also thinking W probably wants this marriage, but then looks at how much money has been invested in getting out of it and probably doesnt want to feeling embarrassed or whatever you will about her family. Im trying to see W doesnt want to look a certain way for coming back to me after I have been made out to whatever I have been made out too. Just my opinion.

On that same token, the last time I went to C, which in the phone convo Sat W asked if I had been to her and said yes once in the past month, C suggested I talk to a family member of hers and see what is it that it would take to win my W back. Well I have a small boat at her Dads, and he is pretty cool. I was thinking I need to go out there and get it and face him. I would ask "what miracle would it take to win your daughter back". Would agree if things were brought up about what I have done and ask for forgiveness, but would probably point out that he knows it takes 2 and I have forgiven his daughter on the things she has done. Something like that.

I feel like W would keep me on the side and not let her family about it. Thats what I was trying to say!

[tomcat65]

I dont htink your doing a bad job,as a materr of fact i think your,doing awsome.

i know you are trying to find a soulutoin,We all are.

But your being honest,and being a real man!

W does seem to be playing games.Just saw this today for the first time!Pretty crazy stuff.Just like what you are dealing with.

Wish i could give you better advise,but im right in the same place as you.

But hang in there i think you are doing great!-Mike

[jandn]

Its just that she is pro divorce and I am probably looking too far into it, need to believe nothing and see the 50%.

[tomcat65]

Yeah same here,hurt her to much ect.

Seems we cant even,slow them down!!

Dont believe nothing only actions!

[Racefan]

jandn...

Man you need to stop, drop, and roll.

Stop: take a step back regroup, take a breathe and focus on you.
Drop: drop trying to second guess what W is thinking you will never know and you will drive yourself crazy.
Roll: try and quit walking on eggshells. We all say and do things wrong. Learn to detach some and that will make it easier right now you seem more worried about saying or doing something wrong that you almost set yourself up for defeat. Roll with the flow abit maybe?

The thing is to learn when the rollercoaster is coming around recognize it and don't get on. You did well at the realtors office you stood your ground and didn't make a fuss about it you simply said what you felt and if I remember right, it pretty much took W off guard and she agreed, but then followed it up with I want it documented for my L. But you did it in a manner that showed respect but that your thoughts do count.

If W wants you to come over a talk that's a good thing, that's when you Db your hinny off and show her your 180's & the changes you are making, take advantage of it, don't fear it. Dress differently than usual, smell good, shave whatever it takes to make a lasting impression. Be the best you can be, don't let W bait you into anything you don't want, she may be in control at this moment, but you have control over yourself and how you choose to be, like I say don't 'react', but 'act' out of your own accord okay?

Do not talk to FIL about this IMO, blood is thicker than water and this can always turn around and bite ya in the hinny! Remember in the end that is his daughter and whether he agrees with her or not more than likely he will back her up.

Keep working on yourself, GAL; PMA; 180's. Stay focused on your goals...

Brian

[jandn]

Yes thanks. Sis even said W is trying to bait me. This is how she put it

"It kind of seems as though when she sees you are detaching yourself from her and not giving in, she is all sweet and nice to you. And tells you what you want to hear to lure you in to bite the hook that she has dangled in front of you. And when you bite it, it gives her control that she longs for. And once she has it, she doesnt want it any longer so she throws you back to grow and comes back later and dangles the hook again."

That was from that email my sister wrote back.

I dont think it took W off guard cause she knows how I am about money. Funny thing about that, her dad would do the same if not worse! He is always looking for the best deal. And that blood is thicker than water is one of the things she quotes from her dad a lot.

(ps I think you know what I was talking about when W said one last time--have sex and I couldnt say no)

[jandn]

Guess I need to look at it that W is testing the hell out of me. And think that W wants this M but is just playing hard to get. I dont know.