Hanging out with LBS - Good or Bad?

[lost3031]

lodo, I completely understand what you said about wishing your wife had been honest with you earlier on. I myself wish this was something I had done - H even says if he had known about my feelings for OM when they first started he would have done anything to fix M. It could have saved so much pain, but I know in my case, it was a matter of pride. I couldn't admit to having inappropriate feelings because I was afraid it would make H look at me differently - up until then, I had been the ideal wife despite my unhappiness. I also didn't want to hurt him, because (believe it or not) women in general tend to want to look after everyone else's feelings first and put themselves last...

Like you said, each sitch is different. H does know about OM and current involvement. Yet he gave up almost instantly, even when I said I didn't know if I wanted to be with OM or not. His theory, I guess, is that if I had feelings for someone else, I didn't love him. No in-betweens, no gray area. That's just the way H's mind works. I also was the one who tried to initiate contact after moving out and he refused. I understand his pain and his hurt, but in essence I feel like he literally drove me further away...

Like you said, if we still enjoy spending time together, then maybe it is too soon to throw it all away. I also understand when you said that involvement with OM makes it nearly impossible to work toward reconciliation or something new. I guess I still have some soul-searching to do...