Nutty, Hey thanks for poppin in here. I always love what you have to say to me. You look at my situation from a different stand point than I can and it gives me a lot to think about usually.
I have felt for about 2-3 years now the hot & cold and I feel like maybe he is bipolar and it is just presenting itself now (I read before that it usually presents itself in the mid 20's).
I am certainly stuck between a rock and a hard place. I love & want to be with my H and He shows a lack of respect for me and our M. He is an alcoholic and I hate to be at the bars anymore (I've outgrown that). He flirts with other women and vice versa right in front of me and I have to deal with it, or when I say something it always gets turned back around that I am just too jealous.
I just cant win. I am happy when he & I are together and alone reconnecting. But there are far more times when there are others around and the issues come up.
My H has a great family life now that his dad is no longer drinking, but as a child he was hit a lot by his dad. So I agree that this is a result of his childhood, but his dad has become a good man over the years.
I know the bars are just relaxing to him, and he doesnt like to feel like he has to answer to anyone, but how can we be married when he wants to live like that.
This weekend I blew up at my H, as we were walking to one of the local restaurants after the Surprise party (he actually went). On our way, My H says to me " I better forwarn you that there is this girl that works there that likes me and flirts with me". That was where I lost it. I have been left by him for a stripper last year, and I dont need to be hearing about another girl that flirts with him at a place that he frequents. I turned around and walked away from him crying and saying why cant you be a good man.
Our night was ruined, he got mad at me for being hurt and showed no caring towards making me feel bad. He practically shoved me out of his place. Then the next day, I text him to see if he would still be up for coming over for dinner as we had planned and he said "sorry, I cant tonight". SO I got dissed again. Now I am at a loss I dont know what to do. Call him or not. Go to his last gig or not??? what should I do????
Luckily, God sent me a gift this weekend when I needed badly. My H's closest new buddy has gotten a real job that will require him being away traveling for 2-3 weeks at a time. So now I might get some quality time with my H without him being more concerned with his best buds plans. Also, this kid was in his band, so their band is going to play there last gig tonight as a bon-voyage to their guitarist.
I feel bad that my H finally got involved with a band and it made him happy, but now it is done. But I do feel happy that he will have more time to focus on us. Also this is one less excuse for him to use to go to the bars.
