My husband has some of his clothes and things in an apartment 45 seconds, yes seconds, LOL, from the high school I work at. I am also a teacher and off for the summer.
I don't have a thread anymore. I used to but my darling hubby who does not use the computer much figured out I was online looking for help and he would come up behind me and look or get on after me so I had my few threads deleted. He would tell me "Oh I saw you were on the DB site." I just post now and again. I have been posting a bit more lately though. For awhile I didn't come at all because I was so overwhelmed with the stories I felt like I could feel what everyone else was going through. I spent that time learning about God's views on marriage and building my relationship with Him, learning how to pray scriptures and learning about Jesus.
Now I feel a lot stronger than I did and I do have my days but I am getting better at stopping those feelings and emotions.
I know what you mean about getting upset and then getting it flipped on you. You have to remove all the buttons that cause you to get upset with him. He can not be able to push any buttons. He knows you do not approve of the bars and nightlife. So it would be best for you to not mention it to him anymore. Instead take it to God. You know there were certain people around my hubby that I knew were negative for him and God moved them away from him. If your upset angry tell God about it. I have a prayer journal and I write letters to Jesus about what is going on instead.
Trust me the more you say nothing about his actions the more he going to wonder why you have not said anything. At first he may seem all happy about it but with time its going to bear down on him. He will think about it more and more. Make sure you keep praying for him. God will keep talking to him. I find mine will explain himself without me even asking.
I cant call us formally piecing since my hubby has not said anything about it. But he stays really close to the children and I. Its like a dance he gets really close then pulls back some, then gets really close again. My husband has distanced himself from his own family and friends but he keeps close to me and the kids. I cna tell he is battling this but he does not talk and wont reach out. Every now and again he talks to me a bit about it but its been awhile since he has done that.
He had not spewed on me for about 7 months at one point. i thought he was getting so much better. Then I found out that he was spewing on others instead. We did have one day though where we argued about two or three months ago, but since then nothing. Right now he just seems quiet and ever so slowly he is getting better. He smiles more and laughs a bit with me.
I know this is a crisis they are going through the less we push and force our wants on them then the more they can deal with their own problems and not have us to focus on as the cause. If they get no arguments or grief from us then they have to look elsewhere for the cause of their problems and that is when their healing takes place becaue soon they will realize their problems are not external but internal.
